These posts won’t all circle back to Adam Grant, but we have really enjoyed his podcast – Worklife. We also recently listened to an interview he did for Goop, in which he talks about the concept of ‘mattering’. Sheryl Sandberg’s account of how this concept helped her and her family, got to the crux of it for us.
Sociologists describe mattering as the belief that other people notice you, care about you and rely on you. It’s the answer to a vital question that all children ask about their place in the world starting as toddlers, and continuing into and beyond adolescence: Do I make a difference to others? Forbes, 2017
For a more academic take, here’s an article by Gregory Elliott, Suzanne Kao and Ann Marie Grant, which builds on the construct of ‘mattering’ formally introduced by Rosenberg and McCullough (1981).
We want to nurture future robot bosses who know they matter. Activity please!
Try this at home kids
Take a cue from Adam Grant (https://goop.com/thepodcast/) and ask your kid(s) for their advice on how to handle something you’re anxious about. This could be speaking or performing in public, or something you’re going to try for the first time. This is a way of showing your kid(s) that you’re looking to them, relying on them, that they matter to you.
Bonus points if you find an opportunity to turn it around and play their advice back to them in the future (i.e. they find themselves in a similar situation and you remind them what their advice was to you,and how it helped you ).
A good trythisathomekids to keep in mind for dinner table conversations and car trips too, to help your kids feel they matter to you in everyday, and more more profound ways too.
Special thanks (again) to Adam Grant.
Postscript
Here’s Adam Grant speaking some more on the subject.
try this at home kids 